Paris 2019

Paris 2019

I took a plane to Paris.
You'd simply love it, dear.

It's been so long we've spoken,
I almost wonder if you're here.

Of course, you'd have a husband.
A beautiful French man.

He'd be catching all your thoughts,
And holding both your hands.

He'd have money and confidence.
I'd still have my luck and my circumstance.

He'd get to see your big green eyes
Light up with pure delight.

But I'll be lost in a decade ago,
With you, on six-months' worth of nights.


All the beauty of your fabled city,
The tower and the Seine.

Crumble 'gainst memories of my fabled lover,
Her movements, her eyes and skin.

But you belong to time itself,
Not just another man.

And all our ages, years, and days,
Spin, crash, and fail to finally mend.

In a future I am dreaming of,
In Paris, remembering holding your hand.

If I ever get to France without you,
If I ever truly dance without you,

I promise you in secret,
I will still be thinking about you.

If I ever make it
To your land of dreams

I will try to bring you with me,
At least, in memory.

For the future seems so certain.
A better one than me,

Will tuck you in and draw your curtains.
He will rub your shoulders,

And shoulder all your doubts.
I will bear my own misfortune.

I will be the one without.
He will sweetly kiss your forehead,

And whisper you "goodnight".
I will always wonder, why I couldn't get it right.

The two of you will make the love,
That I still have dreams and nightmares of.

This is the way it happens,
In an imagined future I am casting.

Alone in a far-off, foreign land,
Missing your touch, and the weight of your hand.

If I ever reach France without you,
If I try to dance without you,

I promise you in secret,
I won't stop thinking about you.

If I ever make it
To your land of deepest dreams

I will try to bring you with me,
At least, in my memory.

For you need something quiet and stable.
I need the passion of fever dreams.

I only hope the man who is blessed by your love
Will see all in you that I did see.

And though the sadness seemed to promise,
We would both remain alone,

There are too many who see the winged bird,
Who wish to cage it, and take her home.

You will find someone who can succeed
In all I failed.

And I will hold your successors up to
Comparisons that make them pale.

In ten years when I'm sitting
In a Parisian café

Drinking coffee
That would make you swoon

And smoking
(Yes, I'm sorry. I never did get strong enough to quit)
The cold afternoon away

My heart, it will call out to you,
"Come have coffee with me?"

Maybe I'll pretend to hear you answer, "Yes."
Across the years, the pain, the sea.
I'll pull my jacket tighter,
Around the waist that I grew back.

I let myself go a bit, after career success.
But you were never shallow about any of that.

I've become a better man these days.
But, mercifully, you loved me before all that.

I hope all the force of the Atlantic Ocean
Is pushing love towards you.

Even if it's "gone forever",
I want you to be happy, I honestly, deeply do.

I hope you'll find your way to France
With true love and success draped 'round your neck.

I hope by then you never think of
The short, quick time with me.

How were we to know
What that lightning love would mean?

Even if that was your deepest love,
As it was mine, please let it be.

You go and find your heart a new one.
And leave the torture all to me.

If I find your France without you,
When I get lonely and dance without you,

I promise you in secret,
I will never think about any but you.

If I last long enough to make it
To that sacred land of all your dreams

I will take you with me,
You're in all my memories.

I came here, not
To see the lights

But to live inside your hope
And show to you in some small way

That we will never
Really be alone

All the glorious architecture
Cannot begin to assuage

The bottomless thirst for perfect beauty
Quenched only in the way that you were made

As this city is a timeless icon
So are you, my love

Though we will never have Paris
I'll always have you to dream of

Though every part of me's as broken
As our love became for you

Anguish and insanity persist
But now and then clarity breaks through

As I give you to the future
And relinquish half the past

And I am not a lunatic, save for
Love that doesn't end, and could not last

I use every ounce of me
To wish you, truly, all the best

All I want is what we had
Paris can keep the rest

If I arrive in France without you,
If I can't move to dance without you,

I promise you, our little secret,
I will always think about you.

If I ever make it
To that land of dreams

I will surely have you with me,
At least, in those memories

May I command the recollection
May you have money, love, and happiness

I'll bid adieu with one tearful look
And depart from Charles de Gaulle

I will return here when I miss you.
Perhaps, I shouldn't leave at all?

The clock's moving us forward
I must seem childish and insane

Every masterpiece of art here
I swear, all their titles were your name

This entire place is yours
Mademoiselle, Mon Cheri

The people there ache for the love
Of my goddess, your majesty

Once again my sickened mind
Has transported lonely-hearted me

To a time non-existent
In a fairytale land, far away and distant

Living only in longing and fantasy
A decade from now, across the sea

If I ever get to France without you,
If I ever truly dance without you,

I promise you in secret,
I will still be thinking about you.

If I ever make it
To your land of dreams

I will try to bring you with me,
At least, in memory.

(c) Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c) ,2010